Look what I found! A seven minute movie about the Edinburgh International Book Festival in which the lovely Ian Rankin discusses and reads from his work, and Edinburgh is shown off in all its glory. If you watch closely, you might spot our favourite crabbit old bat Nicola Morgan doing the same: she pops up twice (once in her best jackboots), so make sure you watch right to the end.
Great clip. But how disappointing. Nicola Morgan failed to terrify me.
Sally, you weren’t concentrating. You didn’t notice her ripping the head off a tourist right at the end. She does, honestly. With her BARE TEETH.
Not terrifying? Didn’t you notice the Paddington Bear hard stare she gave the film crew after giving her reading? Yikes!
As a performing ‘artiste’ here in Soho, who regularly portrays Wagner’s Brunhilda through the medium of dance; it is essential for one in my profession, to be able to protect one’s self by putting the frighteners on any untoward punter. The ‘Paddington Hard Stare’ is a most effective solution, shown in its higher form here by Ms Crabbit. I have learnt today, subtle nuances that I shall certainly add to my arsenal. Thank you for a most informative article.
Doris, I thought you were going to tell me you’d met Ms Morgan through your interpretive dance. I can imagine she would put on a stunning performance.
If you must know, the hard stare was for the bloody tourists who had disrupted filming about eight times. Plus, I was freezing. Plus, the camera guy said i had to hold my position once I’d finished reading. But I’m glad it almost scared you. Pah!
One of the captcha words below this is knorked. I reckon I could do a really good line in knorking.
I think you probably could, my darling, but for now you sound all knorked out. Go and glare at some more tourists, that’ll perk you up.
Absolutely stunning performance! But alas, it wasn’t to be. Unfortunately, she couldn’t manage the pair of dustbin lids and horned helmet.
Regards,
D.
“Big Doris the Stripping Opera singer”
Nicola, darling, you were glaring straight at me in all my tourist glory. Yes, yes, I was the one screeching like a banshee, “Take a picture of this! Take a picture of that! Oooo…look, cameras and…omigod, The Crabbit Old Bat!”
Good times.
Big Doris,
The last thing we need is anyone stripping on fair Jane’s blog, to be honest. Unless you are in disguise, which I’m guessing you are. So, you live in Soho? fab! Very close to my London flat, then. So, a drink in the Dog and Duck? You in your Brunhilda outfit, me with my best glare. Do you buy your vegs in Langlands? In Soho, there are the Langlands people and the Dryburns lot – go on, tell me.
C.O.B.
I saw this thanks to a sharp-eyed f(r)iend in Edinburgh – the COB completely failed to virtually scare me but it may be different in real life. The truly amazing thing is that it was not – raining!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by nicolamorgan and Alison Morton, Maria Duffy. Maria Duffy said: RT @hprw: New on my blog this morning: Writing In Edinburgh With Your Jackboots On http://bit.ly/ba1OLh (starring @nicolamorgan and @beathhigh) [...]
Nicola Morgan wrote:
You know what, Mrs Morgan? You’re right. Because we ALL remember what happened when you did it. The shock! The horror! The HANDCUFFS!
Nicola,
I go to Fortnum’s darling! Cheese on Jermyn St, light meals at Green’s, Duke St. And a drinkie in the Red Lion, St. James.
I may have an unusual job, but I do have my standards.
Big Doris – but you “perform” in Soho. Or is that a, um, what do you call it? Something like euphonium. Euphemism, that’s it. Yes? Have we met? Your wit seems slightly familiar.
@ Nicola Morgan:
But Soho is but a few steps away, poppet. Work one side of the circus, enjoy the other.